Prayer Fail
I just cannot seem to get the magic formula down. Oh wait. There isn’t one.
We look to those who pray more often than before meals as prayer gurus. You know, the people who have prayer closets and are good at journaling (like my wife, whom I often admit to marrying because she prays a lot). The rest of us, who can barely string together a coherent sentence before God stand back in dumbfounded frustration. We try and try and try, but our prayer lives are inconsistent and lacking.
“Did you cover it in prayer?”
Yesterday I took the long way home. I wanted to see parts of my city I had not really seen before. As a church planter, I wanted to know my surroundings a little better. When I arrived home about 15 minutes later than usual, my wife wondered if I was stuck in traffic. I told her what I had been up to when she asked the question; “did you pray for the area?”
As an adult, much of my life has been about answering the questions correctly. Mostly in job interviews. We learn how to avoid giving negative answers and provide a positive spin on everything. I just can’t do that with my wife. Something about her makes me answer in the most truthful and concise fashion. I think she has the spiritual gift of interrogation. I looked her in the eye and said, “No. I’m not good at that.”
My prayer life, sinful and arrogant.
Yesterday morning I was praying on my way to work. I prayed almost the entire 45 minute drive. This is the exception, not the rule. Usually I listen to either a podcast or ESPN radio (Mike and Mike is good stuff). This morning, I was praying. I was asking God for more help. I even asked the dreaded “why I have I not seen you move lately, God?” Then I would sit quietly and try and listen. Then I would call someone an idiot for cutting me off. Back to listening. Then I would wonder what would happen if a deer ran onto the highway and caused a massive collision. Would I be able to swerve out of the way in time to avoid catastrophe? Oops, supposed to be listening for the still small voice…look, its an Ikea store.
I would get angry. “God, why did you make me ADD? The reason I cannot hear you is your fault, not mine.”
I did not repent about it until this morning.
This morning, over my free Komodo Dragon Blend coffee (thank you community group leader!) I was thinking about my average prayer. We have all heard the examples of the pharisee’s prayer in scripture (Luke 18:11) and have been (ironically) thankful we are not like him. We often say prayers like “thank you Lord I am not a flaming sinner on my way to hell, like my friends.” Many times our prayers are self centered, even though we know its wrong; “God, thank you for being awesome, but I would really like an iPad and a $50,000 a year job….with another $50,000 in bonuses. Oh, and help me lose some weight.” Other times are prayers are vindictive; “Smite them, Lord. Please. Quickly. And make it hurt,” while ignoring our own need for a good smiting. Many times we pull out the ol’ Zacharias type prayers (John the Baptizers dad), “God, if you think this is happening, you are silly! You don’t know better than me!” Those of us who are really holy heard once we could pray in the model of the Lord’s prayer and never be wrong. It’s been seven years, and we still pray using it as an outline.
My Worst Prayers:
These are the prayers we pray when we are not reverent before God. These prayers are most likely admired by those who think we are just being truthful and open. It has become somewhat popular to drop a few swear words in our prayers or to “come boldly before the throne” to make demands of God. I know this type of prayer. I have done this. I am a sinner through and through. I think we need to remember we are praying before the God of the Universe. Yes, He is our friend, but he is also God and we should understand we need to have a healthy fear and respect for Him.
Pray for me.
I am finding I have a pretty lame prayer life. It has been the same for many years with little growth. I want to know God on His terms, not mine. I want to listen for Him as well as talk to Him. I want to pray in a way that is pleasing to Him. Not because it will make me move in power or so I can get what I want, but so I can be sanctified and made Holy.
Thank You.
-Don-
Edit. I just found this excellent article about prayer today on The Resurgence: Prayer: Six Tips For Talking to God.
