Pacing Gets You Nowhere
Slow motion, people. Slow motion.
Idealism thrives on momentum. I cannot prove this theory, but I believe it. When we are idealistic and all our ducks are in a row, we blast through obstacles like an unstoppable juggernaut. Many ideas die because things stop working for us, thus it stops being easy and leads to hard work. Since most work 40 hours a week, have families and responsibilities, our dreams become the less obtainable option.
Sometimes circumstances derail us.
Over the last week I have just coasted through my days. I have tried not to think about too much. I have been preoccupied with insurance agents, claim adjusters and shoulder pain to really care about much else. Last Saturday and Sunday were pretty much a fog because I was on a muscle relaxer. This is why my blog has read more like a diary than a commentary. I have forced readers to sit around and read my thoughts as I untangle them. I know, captivating, right?
I need to do something.
I have started to feel a little like a caged tiger. All I can do is walk back and forth between feedings. I have no gazelle to catch, no zebra to hunt. The raw, bloody meat is tossed to me by a zoo keeper. I have various prey in my sites, but have little motivation to chase it down. Are you ready for a little honesty?
My Black Berry makes me sad.
A couple months ago I was gung-ho about planting Church of the Broken. My wife and I decided it would be best to get a separate church phone line so our minutes would not be impeded, and we could keep a little privacy. Yesterday, while waiting for the doctor, I busted out the Black Berry and checked my email. It dawned on me I had only sent a dozen emails for Church of the Broken in the last month. Nine of them were to Acts 29 in an effort to recover my password. I have received 4 calls on the phone in the last month. Two were my wife. Where are all the people with questions about the church who are supposed to be calling? Where are the people who got all the business cards we have handed out? Where are all the other pastors in my life who are supposed to be setting up meetings and helping us out? Where are all the people who I have been praying for who are supposed to be coming along side to help out? I am truly thankful for those who have already jumped aboard, but in order to change a city or a region, it is going to take a few more. I think.
I feel like a two year old who is walking, but who really wants to run.
I am bored of the status quo. I am very thankful for MGEO’s suggestion to keep a TV diary for the next couple of weeks and see where my time is leaking away. I have a ton of things to do, and just waiting for them to happen is has grown old and stale. I don’t have time for waiting.
-Don-
