You See Dry Bones

Monday is Here…Be a Man.

Still in that “weekend” frame of mind. And maybe even grumpy.

Today I have a new post up over at my friend Jonathan’s site, Sorting Beans. It’s about the Bible, you should click on the preceding sentence and go read it.

Now, be a man.

Men, we are often wrong. Sometimes being wrong is OK. It is being wrong that helps us grow and makes us stronger. The only way to grow from being wrong is to admit it when we are not right. Still with me? I know many men tuned out of this article when they saw there was a chance they may have been wrong. If you don’t believe me, just ask your wife, she will inform you when you were wrong. Not married? Ask your close friends or co-workers. They will confirm that I am right about you being wrong.

Are we past this now?

Good. One thing men need to know is, you have to be willing to listen to others when you are wrong. I was having a discussion with my wife yesterday about how I was so thankful for my accountability partner. We have only met once, but I can tell its a good thing. His wife is friends with my wife. He is friends with our pastor. He has the balls…I mean…fortitude to tell both of them when I am doing something detrimental to my marriage or to my relationship with God and am unwilling to repent or come clean on my own.

Just so you know, I have not been in that situation, and if I ever was, I am sure I would not be as thankful at first, but I would push back. I pray I would be humble enough to repent and work things out.

Anyway.

There are some of you out there who will never admit they are wrong. Ever. You fail to put yourself under authority of any kind, or in accountability of any kind. You think you are invincible and your pride has taken over. You have made yourself a god and refuse to repent. You think the world should be kissing your feet. If someone stands up to you, all you feel is anger and you start gossiping and belittling them.

Some of you are the opposite.

You are too afraid to call people out in their folly and sin. You fear your “friend” will think less of you or that you are being unloving. We know people who have wrecked their lives in serious fashion because their friends were too afraid to call them out because they were afraid of what they would think.

We need to stop being little Golden Retrievers (people pleasers) and start confronting our friends.

If you are a Christian…

I have heard this line twice in the last couple weeks: “You need to be a part of a church that will kick you out.” I agree. You need to surround yourself with a community that will call you on your B.S. (you know, bull-stuff). They need to do it lovingly and biblically, but they need to be able to do it. We need to be humble enough to understand both when we are wrong, and the other person is wrong. I could go on a rant as to why this is a massive failure in so many churches but I don’t have time.

Ok, I have a little time.

Many churches are afraid they will lose people if they confront their sin. Newsflash: We are supposed to call out our brothers and sisters in their sin. It’s in the Bible (Matthew 18, anyone?). Instead we pull out lines like “You’re not supposed to judge, only God can judge me…” Trust me, you want me to judge you before God does. His judgment will be much harsher than mine. I mean really, if you are in sin, spitting in God’s face, you would rather have Him strike you down? Or would you rather have me bring it to your attention before you are face to face with Him? Think about that for a minute, Ok?

God can send you to hell. I can’t send you anywhere.

-Don-

Be a Man Monday: Just Say It.

First, some house cleaning. Don’t get too used to this theme. I am making slow changes to it and may delete it entirely.

Now, back by popular demand, Be a Man Monday:

Last Friday, I asked for people to give me a topic for this post. Many of you talked about communication and how it is either a) lacking, or b) how it is stifled. I think this is true, especially among Christian men in the church.

Special Delivery; Ear Candy.

Communication has two parts, talking, and listening. We often stop doing either when it gets tough. If we have to say something we know people do not want to hear, we do not say it. If someone is telling us something we do not want to hear, we shut them out. We have a tendency ONLY to take part in conversations that tickle our ears and sound good in our minds, often ignoring the hard stuff. The truth.

Take it from the Bible.

Be truthful, how many times have you read something in Scripture and written it off? I am not just talking about Limited Atonement , I am talking about the REAL hard stuff. How many times do you read through sections of Scripture, not like what it says, and dismiss it as something purely cultural? I see this all the time, especially when talking about gender roles and sexual purity. Christians (not pagans) tend to go through the Bible and only take what they want to hear and find loop-holes through the rest. We read Ephesians, which tells us not to allow even a HINT of sexual immorality in our lives, and find ways to justify our own immorality. Heaven forbid a friend calls us out on our sin! We write them off or get offended.

Men, we need to listen to the Scriptures and obey them. We need to STOP trying to make our own version of the Jefferson Bible. We are not supposed to pick through the Scriptures and customize our own sanctification. Doing this only customizes our road to hell.

We do not communicate what Scripture says.

So many times we fear offending people that we leave parts out. We may believe some of the hard things the Bible says about sin, hell, gender roles, sexuality, etc. but will punt on these issues for fear of upsetting our friends. Even worse,pastors will preach what they feel people want to hear because they are afraid of how they will be perceived, because they are cowards. Telling people hell is real, women should not be pastors, sex is for marriage alone and sin will be judged is not popular.

Conditioning

We have been trained to be independent and to resist authority. This has lead so many to believe they can make their own rules and follow their own path. Instead of trying to please God, we try and please man. Galatians 1:10 tells us when we are more concerned with winning the approval of man than of Christ, we are forfeiting our status as servants. We are destroying the proper and most fruitful of relationships. We are elevating man to God, and dismissing God entirely.

Good communication is essential to sanctification.

If we are really striving for holiness, we need to allow God’s word to communicate to us, and not be afraid to communicate it to others.

-Don-

Be a Man Monday- Humility

I have seen great humility this past weekend.

Theology bloggers tend to be prideful. The more you study to affirm a particular doctrine, the more proud you will become. I will admit (and not because I am humble either) that I am prideful about what I know.

A true man shows true humility.

We can have false humility. When someone gives us an “at-a-boy” we say things like, “oh, it was nothing, really.” to feign humility. Inside we are beaming. The little voice in our head is screaming “darn right buddy!  You are luck you know me. Without me you could have accomplished nothing! I am truly awesome.”

C.J. Mahaney.

Mahaney wrote a wonderful book called Humility, which helped to change my thinking on these matters (if you would like a copy, click the sponsor link here: Humility: True Greatness)

It was upon reading this book I realized my pride oozed out of every pore.  I wish I could say my time spent reading the book helped me understand the depth of my pride and cultivated true humility, but it has not. While I am more aware of my pride and I attack it more ferociously, I know I have a long way to go. By God’s grace, I will be humble(d).

I tell you that to tell you this.

Being humble on the Internet is rare. Sure, we may retract somethings from time to time. Most of us figure there is no need to. Why should we? There is anonymity when leaving a comment on, or posting a blog.  We can use pseudonyms instead of our real names. One of the easiest things to do is start a flame war. All you have to do is go to any blog and leave a comment which is the polar opposite view of another comment and see what happens. If you are wrong, insulting, or even if you are right (but still an A-hole), you have no reason to change your views or edit / delete your comment.

But, one guy did.

Over the weekend I got the following comment on a past post:

I would like to apologize for my comments earlier. I just had some issues with some comments made by my Pastor at a service a few Sundays ago. It hurt because I love my Pastor like a brother. You’re right, it hurt my pride a lot & I’ve prayed about it & believe that my issues have been solved. Besides, I’m not going to worry about those things anymore & hand those over to God. If my Pastor isn’t doing as he should, then that’s between him & God. Again I apologize for my let out of anger before. God Bless.

My brain had a hard time understanding this guy.

For the record, I don’t know the guy (named David) who left the comment (at least, I don’t think I do…it is the Internet after-all). He has no obligation to me or my readers. Shoot, when I posted a follow up based on his comment, I did not think he would read it.

David showed true humility.

If I was David, I would have continued to defend my stance and maybe even started a war among those who disagreed with me. My response to David was kind of harsh. He could have easily found an attack point. Instead, he apologized and admitted his pride. Ladies and gentlemen, David showed the mark of a true man by being humble.

I would exhort all my readers to make strides toward humility as David has. Men, we do not have to be constantly correct. The goal is not to be the smartest, loudest, or most obnoxious in the room. It is to preach Christ and Him crucified to all. We can only do this if we keep our pride at bay.

Thanks, David.

You have provided an example of true humility to all who read this site. I accept your apology and have prayed for you over the last couple of days. You did what few would do under the guise of anonymity. God bless, and don’t let it go to your head

-Don-

Be a Man Monday

Today’s installment will seem immensely practical.

This article is cross-posted at my fitness site, Called to Fitness.

I started my fitness website because I did not want to become a “fat pastor.”  There are so many “men of the cloth” who are nearing 300 pounds…and they are under six foot tall.  I started out exercising, then I went vegetarian (after a couple months of no meat, I cut down a tree in my back yard. After the tree hit the ground, testosterone coursed through my blood and I felt the need for chicken wings. And beer.) to attempt to get healthier.  Then the poo hit the fan. I was sick, in a car accident, taking care of sick kids, planting a church and much, much more. I lost ten pounds and have put five almost eight back on.

What does this have to do with being  a man?

If you are a man, there is a high likely hood you will be married. Once married, you will likely have kids. As a man, you will be expected to take care of your wife and kids. How can you do that if you are overweight? Seriously.

Think of all the problems associated with being overweight. Here is a small list:

• High blood pressure
• Diabetes
• Heart disease
• Stroke
• Heart attack
• Less flexibility / mobility
• Asthma

While this is a short list, it is an important list. How can you raise your kids if you are hindered by self-imposed medical issues? How would it feel if you could not afford the other needs of your family because you had to pay for your diabetes medications or hospital stays?  How can you take your boys on adventures and teach them to be active if you are contently winded? On a spiritual note, how can you preach against gluttony and laziness if you are a lazy glutton?

Guys and girls. I rarely use the internet as my confessional, but today I will. I have been a lazy glutton. I have not taken my diet and exercise seriously.  You may not think its a big deal, but it is. When I eat poorly, my attitude is worse. I am lazy, I want to spend less time with my kids. I get irritated quickly and my wife suffers. Worse still, there is a history of diabetes in my family (almost every member over 45 has it or is on their way to having it). I should know better.

This time, I need to get serious, and maybe you do too.

I want to drop some substantial weight by Christmas. This is the time of year when we can make a ton of excuses. There are cookies at every office, pumpkin pie at every gathering, and the temptation to sit around and play video games. The days are shorter and the temptation to stay sedentary is stronger. So, how can I (we) lose weight and stay in shape over the holidays? I have three ideas to help.

1. Have a plan.
Truth be told, losing weight cannot be done well if you do not have a plan. If you do not have a work out schedule and a well planned diet, you will fail. Going to the gym with no idea of what you are doing will lead to either a) an ineffective workout, or b) a really long workout that helps you as little as possible, becomes boring, and then makes you give up.  The best way to have a plan is to pick up a good workout book. Seriously. Some people will shell out for a trainer, and this can be good, but in most cases, you can do just as well without one. Get a book like The Abs Diet or Body for Life and have at it. It is better to go in with a plan, than none at all.
As for the diet piece, you have to eat well. The saying “you cannot outrun your diet” holds true. I recommend eating according to The Abs Diet or Body for Life. But the main thing to keep in mind is, STOP EATING JUNK FOOD.  Junk food is anything processed. This includes but is not limited to chips, cookies, candy, candy bars, and white bread. I would also recommend avoiding fad diets like South Beach, Adkins, and most diets recommended on Oprah. 

2. Have a goal, and then change it.

It is important to know where you are going. This can keep it more exciting. Don’t just say “I want to lose weight.” Think of how much you want to lose, and then what you will do when you lose it. Once you drop that 30 pounds (my goal), will you build muscle? Start Mui Thai? Rock climb? Play linebacker in your flag football league? Once you achieve one goal, you need to be ready to achieve another. Stay motivated, always.

3. Get some accountability.

Get a friend who wants to lose weight, or one who is in shape. Make them hound you like a Drill Sargent who wants to audition for Full Metal Jacket. Be honest with them. This is no time to be a lying little wuss. Listen to them and keep on the ball.

I talk a good game. Here is my plan, goal, and accountability.

My plan is to bust out some form of exercise every day. Every other day it will be a formal workout. The off days will be doing real-world activities (like cutting down a tree) in place of a formal workout.

My goal is 30 pounds by Christmas. Yes, it is a high, lofty goal. But I am going to shoot for it.

My accountability is two-fold, my wife, and you guys out there in internet land. I will be updating my fitness blog with a weigh in every Monday. To start, here is a picture I took this morning:

I am going to call my weight at 197.9 pounds.  Sick people. Sick.

Let’s get on it people.

Put down the fork. Next time I weigh in, I will be at least 3 pounds lighter.

-Don-